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Former Burglars Reveal Home Security Tips.

Alright, Indianapolis residents who are concerned with home security! Buckle up because we’re about to embark on a riotous journey into the realm of fortifying your home security systems. Forget the old, boring, yawn-inducing tips; we’re diving deep into the hilarious side of home security. 

 

We’ll be exploring unconventional, side-splitting strategies straight from the minds of ex-burglars – the unsung heroes of the underworld. From laminated windows to timing heists, we’ve got the full comedic spectrum of home security systems to turn your home into an impenetrable fortress. So, grab your popcorn and get ready for a stand-up special that’ll make your home security the talk of the town.

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(Of course, these ideas are not 100% foolproof. If you prefer we save you the trouble, and handle everything for you with good home security systems like we do for our hundreds of customers, we’d be glad to send one of our tech guys to have a look at what you’ve got going, and then give you a free estimate -complete with alarm  monitoring -with no exploitative multi-year contracts. CLICK HERE TO REQUEST A FREE ASSESSMENT.)

 

Glass Act: Reinforcing Your Windows To Boost Home Security Systems

 

Let’s kick things off with the vulnerability of windows – those transparent gateways that burglars dream of. Former burglars spilled their secrets, and one gem of wisdom we picked is to include laminated windows as part of your home security systems. Yes, you heard it right – windows with a laminated twist. None of that ordinary glass that shatters like high school dreams of finding true love. We’re talking about windows that refuse to break apart, making burglars question their life choices more than a midlife crisis. 

 

And if you’re not in the mood to splash cash on new windows, fear not – there’s the budget-friendly option of slapping a laminate film on your existing ones. It’s like giving your windows a superhero cape – affordable and still packs a punch.

 

Canine Home Security Systems: Unveiling the Truth about Guard Dogs

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Ah yes! Let’s talk about man’s best friend – or, as some burglars would say, man’s furry, security system. Forget the stereotypical guard dog image; these former burglars spill the kibble on the truth. Turns out, your friendly Fido might be more interested in belly rubs than burglars. But fear not, because these wise ex-intruders suggest that smaller breeds with a penchant for barking could be your quirky security solution. Now, about those “Beware of Dog” signs – they’re practically rolling out the red carpet for burglars. We’re talking about a canine Trojan horse situation here. So, love your pooch, but maybe don’t leave home security entirely in their paws.

 

A Matter of Time: Strategic Timing for Burglaries

 

Let’s dive into timing – not the kind that gets you fashionably late to a party, but the kind that leaves burglars scratching their heads. Contrary to Hollywood’s midnight heist fantasies, ex-burglars spill the beans that most break-ins happen during the day – you know, the time when you’re away at work, blissfully unaware that your TV might be auditioning for a new home. So, when it comes to home security, think about the best times to confuse burglars. It’s not just about setting your watch; it’s about setting up a strategy that leaves them scratching their heads and rethinking their life choices. Timing is everything, especially when it comes to outsmarting burglars.

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Careful Placement: The Art of Concealing Valuables

 

Alright, let’s dust off those valuables, folks! Ex-burglars, the real-life Sherlock Holmeses, suggest keeping your secret stashes under wraps. Not just wraps,  but wrap, WRAPS. Dusting isn’t just for those forgotten corners; it’s for the mantelpieces, cabinets, and countertops where you hide your treasures. Turns out, burglars are detectives with a flair for hidden cash caches. And here’s a tip – hide your valuables like you’re playing hide and seek with a toddler. 

 

Make it challenging, and the more time burglars spend looking, the more likely they’ll ditch the mission like a bad Tinder date. Oh, and no leaving brooms and mops lying around – they’re not just for cleaning; burglars use them as makeshift alarms, and nobody wants that kind of wake-up call.

 

Neighbourly Vigilance: Turning Community into a Security Asset

 

Now, let’s talk about your neighbors – the unsung heroes in this hilarious home security comedy. Forget about fences taller than the Great Wall; they’re just providing a cozy hiding spot for burglars. Open those drapes, let your neighbors see what’s happening, and make sure they know your door isn’t the entrance to Narnia. 

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Keep those relationships alive, so if something fishy is going down, they’re blowing up your phone faster than a teenager with a breakup text. Because in the world of home security, neighbors are your VIP front-row audience, and you want them to be the first to notice if something’s off.

 

Locked Tight: Strengthening Your Doors with Strike Plates

 

Time for some door drama, folks! We’re talking about doors so secure, even a determined burglar would throw in the towel. Enter the unsung hero – the strike plate. It’s not a superhero name, but it sure does a superhero job. For less than a fiver, you can transform your door from flimsy to fortress. It’s like giving your entryway a protein shake with pre-workout – sturdy and ready to fend off any unwelcome visitors. Imagine a burglar trying to kick your door like they’re auditioning for a Broadway musical – the joke’s on them. Locked tight and fortified, your door will stand as the first line of defense against any potential comedy-crashing burglars.

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Signs of Security: Navigating the World of Home Security Systems

 

Ah, the world of Indianapolis home security systems – it’s like navigating a labyrinth of options. But let’s not get carried away and turn our homes into the set of a sci-fi movie. Ex-burglars drop some truth bombs about these systems. It’s not about having a surveillance camera in every nook and cranny; it’s about strategic placement. We’re talking about eye-level at entry points – the kind of placement that captures burglars in all their glory. Because let’s face it (pun intended), we want them on camera, not starring in a blurry, unidentifiable cameo. In the hilarious theater of home security systems, effective placement is the director’s cut that makes sure the burglars don’t steal the show. Ah! Our pun game is lit, eh?

 

Garage Galore: Securing Your Garage Entry

 

The garage, folks – it’s not just a parking space; it’s a potential weak link in your home security comedy. Leaving garage door openers in your car? That’s like leaving the keys under the mat – convenient for you, a jackpot for burglars. But even without an electric fob, burglars can get creative. We’re talking wires, hooks, and manual disengage levers. Locking that door connecting your garage to your house is like the grand finale of your home security show – it’s the climax that keeps your home protected. Because in the grand comedic scheme of things, your garage is not just for parking; it’s for safeguarding your castle.

 

Birthday Surprise: Avoiding Burglar Attention During Celebrations

 

Birthdays are joyous occasions, but burglars see them as golden opportunities. Balloons, gifts, and toys – they’re like a neon sign saying, “Come on in, burglars, the party’s here!” This section explores the risks associated with celebrations and provides tips on minimizing indicators that could attract burglars in Indianapolis. It’s like throwing a surprise party for burglars where the only surprise is how well-protected your home is. In the world of home security dramedies, birthdays are just another occasion to outwit burglars and keep the laughs coming

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Open Invitation: Online Security Risks When Selling Your Home

 

Now, let’s dive into the cyberworld of home security – because apparently, burglars have gone digital. Online realtor sites like Zillow are the new hunting ground for these virtual cat burglars. They can virtually scope out your house, assess its value, and even plan escape routes using Google Maps. It’s like a heist movie set in the digital age, and you’re the unwitting star. This section provides insights into navigating online real estate safely, keeping your home protected from virtual reconnaissance. It’s not just about securing your physical space; it’s about defending your virtual castle from cyber invaders.

 

Breaking Routine: Shaking Up Predictability

 

Routine might be comforting, but burglars see it as an invitation. This section explores the importance of breaking your daily routine to keep potential burglars on their toes. It’s not just about leaving them guessing; it’s about outsmarting them. Change up your departure and arrival times, randomize those automated lighting schedules, and give burglars a real puzzle to solve. Because a predictable routine is like an open invitation to a burglar – and we’re here to RSVP “no way.” In the hilarious world of home security, routine is the straight man, and we’re the comedic disruptors.

 

Decoys and Misdirection: Outsmarting Burglars Creatively

 

Now, let’s talk about getting creative in your home security strategy. From fake spare keys to decoy safes and strategically placed fake jewelry, this section explores tactics to throw burglars off their game. It’s like a game of chess, where you’re the grandmaster and burglars are mere pawns. These decoys not only buy you time but add an element of surprise that even Gary Kasparov himself would appreciate. 

 

After all, the more obstacles and time wasted, the more likely burglars are to abandon their ill-conceived mission. It’s not just about securing your home; it’s about turning the tables and making burglars question their life choices.

 

Conclusion:

 

And there you have it, folks – Our old-school guide to home security that’s more entertaining than a night at the comedy club. From laminated windows to mischievous canines, from striking doors to online real estate adventures, these tips are like a punchline to burglars’ plans. 

 

Home security doesn’t have to be a snooze fest; it can be a hilarious adventure filled with twists and turns. So, go forth, fortify your castle, and remember – laughter is the best medicine, especially when it comes to keeping burglars at bay. 

 

Stay secure, stay entertained, and keep your home a fortress of hilarity. After all, in the comedy of home security, you’re the headliner, and burglars are just trying to steal your spotlight. So, laugh on, secure on, and may your home be forever filled with the echoes of laughter.

(Again, these ideas are not 100% foolproof. If you prefer we save you the trouble, and handle everything for you with top home security systems like we do for our hundreds of customers, we’d be glad to send one of our tech guys to have a look at what you’ve got going, and then give you a free estimate -complete with alarm  monitoring -with no exploitative multi-year contracts. CLICK HERE TO REQUEST A FREE ASSESSMENT.)

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